BEARD CARE, ONE, TWO AND THREE!
You haven’t shaved your beard for several weeks now. Your face looks like a troll’s arse. You think “how can you make your beard add the finishing touches to your sculpturesque face?” Book a beard trimming appointment with Dick Johnson right now. We will whip your beard back to shape and share out secrets with you. For a list of reasons, keep on reading!
- Your face is probably as itchy as your crab-covered balls. This is caused by the moisturize-demanding skin under your beard. For this, you need a really fucking good beard oil, and you are naturally going to choose the most popular one of the product range, that is, Snake Oil…
> Drip a few drops of beard oil to your palms. Rub the product to your skin underneath the beard as well as on the beard hairs.
- You want your beard to be sharp. For this, you need some fucking strong beard wax. Beard wax will also moisturize your skin, so when your wife’s sister sits on top of your face next time, giggling will change to moaning.
> Beard wax is hard, so you need to use your nails. Scrape a good chunk of wax from the container with your nails. Warm up the wax between your hands to soften it. Then, spread the wax evenly on your beard and brush it to a stylish shape.
- Last step, but definitely an important one. Your beard will collect shit. This means that you need to clean it regularly and correctly. Therefore, you do not want to use traditional wash liquids, since they dry up your beard too much. What you need is a natural, organic beard soap.
> Take the beard soap with you to the shower three times a week and wash your beard properly.
- Moustache demands their own time and definitely their own wax. These stalwarts need to be rolled and twisted to shape with a strong moustache wax.
> As with the beard wax, you need to use nails to get the moustache wax out of the can. Nail of the thumb makes this part easy. The wax is really hard. Some people like to warm the wax to soften it up by putting the can under water with the lid on. Warm up the wax to really soften it up between the finders, spread the product on the moustache and begin shaping them.