WHO IS THE UNCLE?!

By Ronald Platt

Deep on the dance floor of your second cousin's wedding.
Lurking in the back of Daughters Christening.
Telling stories of the old times to the young ones at the bar.
The Uncle is everywhere.
Sitting in the dark, seedy corner surrounded by bad 1970’s fashion, a cloud of smoke and a perfume once sold to ‘Men who wanted to be successful’; The Uncle waits.

Dick Johnson wanted to celebrate that one questionable family member, or even creepier, the Man that may have never even been family, but demanded you called him ‘Uncle’. Alongside his terrible habits and tendency to lean towards the ladies he’ll never truly get, he left behind a collection of products to help him on his journey of debonair debauchery and questionable charm.
With our stores supplying these products, ranging from the simple comb – perfect for your greasy locks – to the slippery sex oil – dare I explain?! – These will open up an entirely new challenge to the ways of winning your Women with wonderful wackiness… or weirdness!!

Enjoy, after all, Uncle did…